I strongly believe that self-deception is a key component in deperesonalization. Because I believe, DP (initially) is basically not much more, than when a person's idea of him/herself is not matching the reality of him/her (DP), and when the person's idea of the world is not matching reality (DR).
So, if you think about it, such a disconnection from reality can be caused logically by two things. 1.) The person is simply mentally ill 2.) The person lies to him / herself.
Now, since people with DP are AWARE that something is "off", to me, that indicates that they are totally sane. So, that means, they have to have some OTHER reason for self-deception.
Pretty logical, isn't it (comment below!)?
So I think, DP is usually (or at least in my case) caused by inner dynamics, emotional stuff, personality, rather than a simple dysfunctional thought process that could be controlled by will.
I believe this is why people get stuck in DP for years, because they constantly think about what they are DOING wrong instead of looking into themselves.
I'm a lot more careful now than I was when writing about DP, so I'm just suggesting that DP a lot of times, I believe is connected to a personality disorder, like BPD or NPD. It's a fact, that DP/DR always involves a kind of disconnection from reality, and I believe that is due to the "alternative narrative" that people with personality disorders have.
So what's the trick?
The way I learned and am learning it is to learn to STOP thinking after a certain thought. People with PDs and DP/DR are throwing around pretty heavy and strong thoughts like it's nothing. For example, people with NPD like myself learned to simply IGNORE thoughts we don't like. This leads to serious disintegration, and after a while, DP/DR, which creates even MORE disintegration.
So for ANYONE who gets depersonalization, I'd strongly suggest a few things:
- Understand, that you have a few DYSFUNCTIONAL ways of thinking
- Understand, that it is 90% sure that when you try to solve your DP, you'll use the EXACT SAME dysfunctional thinking patterns that created it in the first place.
- If you understand the above point, you also understand that DP ITSELF is an illusion you have created. DEEPLY understand this. There is no such thing that you are not yourself. There is a reason that you describe it as "I'm not FEELING like myself." instead if "I'm not myself.".
- You have to EXPECT thinking in a faulty way.
So, I'd suggest to get a magnifying glass, and take a look at your thoughts from second-to-second, minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, day-to-day, because all the answers are there, in you.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder and DP
As I learn more and more these things like DP and NPD (read: instead of doing what I actually want to do, read and write - otherwise valuable - things about psychological shit that won't create any progress in my life), I now see how DP is unavoidable for someone with Narcissism.
So for ANYONE who suffers from DP and even slightly resonates with the idea that (s)he is a pwNPD (person with NPD), you have to know that solution for your life (not DP, life) is pretty simple: stop thinking you are special. Noone is special in a way Narcissists think they are.
How a pwNPD thinks about specialness?
"I deserve everything good because I am [insert any REAL, imagined or exaggerated trait]."
"I deserve XY because I did [insert any real work, act, behaviour in the past]."
Do you understand the night-and-day difference (I guess you do, it's just for me, a pwNPD a big thing). A Narcissist may know that (s)he is EXTREMELY talented (maybe it's 100% true), and (s)he thinks that because of that, (s)he deserves to be rich. WITHOUT WORKING FOR IT.
Actually doing hard work for it is something that is HUMILIATING for