I was suffering from depersonalization since 2010, and as I see now, I had ALL of the neccessary resources to heal from it after 2-3 months of onset, yet, it took 8 years to totally heal. And that is because there is a world difference between understanding something mentally and understanding it ACTUALLY and applying it.
My life saver was Harris Harrington. I watched his program and it did NOTHING to me. The only "benefit" I got from it that when I felt totally insane, out of this world and crazy, I started to watch it, and it calmed me down, because something deep inside me KNEW that he was right. Yet, I remained in DP.
Now, I tell you why I failed so many times, and why I think you have failed so many times, and how I believe you can heal from a personality disorder (which a lot of times comorbid with DP).
Here is my cure.
Here is my model for the human brain from the perspective of DP and PDs (personality disorders).
Let's take a look at yourself this way:
1.) The CORE you: your sense of self, beliefs about yourself, plans about how you should act in certain situations, what, who you want to be. These are THOUGHTS you have IMPLANTED in your own mind LONG before depersonalization started. You probably don't even remember the times and occasions you have put these beliefs inside your brain, but believe me, a belief that you have planted into your sense of self 10 years ago that took ONE SECOND, is JUST AS REAL as the computer screen or phone screen you are looking at this moment. Your brain is a SOLDIER and you are the CAPTAIN.
You can ask then: OK, but WHY THE HELL then I feel like I am the SLAVE and my mind is the MASTER? I tell you. Because your brain is not only the soldier of you NOW, but the soldier of you BACK THEN.
That means, if you tell this soldier: "Kick me in the ass EVERY TIME I want to eat chocolate." IT WILL. Even if you 2 years later decide that you want to eat chocolate, it will STILL KICK YOU in the ass every time you want to do it, UNTIL you OVERWRITE the order you gave it 2 years ago.
The CORE of you, that sense of self DICTATES your everyday choices. And if you think about it, this is the ONLY WAY you could function and survive. Would you like to RELEARN every single letter and word in an article EVERY TIME you read something? NO. You have learned that this is letter L and this is letter R 30 years ago, and now you just KNOW it. This is how it goes with EVERYTHING.
2.) The OUTER, "CHOOSER" YOU: This is the YOU, that is navigating your life. This is the you that decides what to do in a certain situation. This is ALSO the you that can learn NEW things. This is ALSO the you that can PLANT or OVERWRITE beliefs stored in the CORE SELF.
BUT.
The OUTER YOU is NOT FREE. It only THINKS it is FREE to do anything in the moment, but it is NOT. The OUTER YOU, when faced with ANY SITUATION, is being SERVED by the CORE you with 2,3,4 or 43 different CHOICES, which ALL fits the CORE YOU. Because you DO NOT WANT TO MAKE A CHOICE that is NOT fitting the CORE YOU. That is how you feel SAFE.
When you drive a car, it would be LIFETHREATENING if the OUTER, CHOOSER YOU would be enabled to turn the wheel towards a brick wall at 156 mph. You would DIE. So it is only allowed to make choices that is "SIGNED" by the CORE you. So you survive and arrive at your destination.
How does it go wrong in depersonalization?
Simple. Depersonalization happens when you are facing a life situation that your CORE SELF has CONFLICTING beliefs about. It's like, you love your father, but your father suddenly wants to kill you, and the only choice you could make is to KILL him. Wouldn't you feel depersonalized? Of course you'd do, but this would be such a short and shocking scene you wouldn't even realize.
DP/DR is the SAME, it is just a longer period than a few seconds. But doesn't matter if it is a few seconds or 30 years. The mechanism is the SAME.
So how to heal? You have to understand, that you CAN NOT SOLVE depersonalization by simple choice. You can only heal DP by using your choosing self NOT TO DO ANYTHING IN THE CURRENT LIFE SITUATION, NOT TO do this, NOT TO do that, but to FIND the core belief(s) that is causing you the problem.
I repeat. There is NOTHING you can do to fix DP until you don't fix the CORE belief that creates it.
And ONLY YOU, ONLY YOU can know those beliefs.
My life saver was Harris Harrington. I watched his program and it did NOTHING to me. The only "benefit" I got from it that when I felt totally insane, out of this world and crazy, I started to watch it, and it calmed me down, because something deep inside me KNEW that he was right. Yet, I remained in DP.
Now, I tell you why I failed so many times, and why I think you have failed so many times, and how I believe you can heal from a personality disorder (which a lot of times comorbid with DP).
Here is my cure.
Here is my model for the human brain from the perspective of DP and PDs (personality disorders).
Let's take a look at yourself this way:
1.) The CORE you: your sense of self, beliefs about yourself, plans about how you should act in certain situations, what, who you want to be. These are THOUGHTS you have IMPLANTED in your own mind LONG before depersonalization started. You probably don't even remember the times and occasions you have put these beliefs inside your brain, but believe me, a belief that you have planted into your sense of self 10 years ago that took ONE SECOND, is JUST AS REAL as the computer screen or phone screen you are looking at this moment. Your brain is a SOLDIER and you are the CAPTAIN.
You can ask then: OK, but WHY THE HELL then I feel like I am the SLAVE and my mind is the MASTER? I tell you. Because your brain is not only the soldier of you NOW, but the soldier of you BACK THEN.
That means, if you tell this soldier: "Kick me in the ass EVERY TIME I want to eat chocolate." IT WILL. Even if you 2 years later decide that you want to eat chocolate, it will STILL KICK YOU in the ass every time you want to do it, UNTIL you OVERWRITE the order you gave it 2 years ago.
The CORE of you, that sense of self DICTATES your everyday choices. And if you think about it, this is the ONLY WAY you could function and survive. Would you like to RELEARN every single letter and word in an article EVERY TIME you read something? NO. You have learned that this is letter L and this is letter R 30 years ago, and now you just KNOW it. This is how it goes with EVERYTHING.
2.) The OUTER, "CHOOSER" YOU: This is the YOU, that is navigating your life. This is the you that decides what to do in a certain situation. This is ALSO the you that can learn NEW things. This is ALSO the you that can PLANT or OVERWRITE beliefs stored in the CORE SELF.
BUT.
The OUTER YOU is NOT FREE. It only THINKS it is FREE to do anything in the moment, but it is NOT. The OUTER YOU, when faced with ANY SITUATION, is being SERVED by the CORE you with 2,3,4 or 43 different CHOICES, which ALL fits the CORE YOU. Because you DO NOT WANT TO MAKE A CHOICE that is NOT fitting the CORE YOU. That is how you feel SAFE.
When you drive a car, it would be LIFETHREATENING if the OUTER, CHOOSER YOU would be enabled to turn the wheel towards a brick wall at 156 mph. You would DIE. So it is only allowed to make choices that is "SIGNED" by the CORE you. So you survive and arrive at your destination.
How does it go wrong in depersonalization?
Simple. Depersonalization happens when you are facing a life situation that your CORE SELF has CONFLICTING beliefs about. It's like, you love your father, but your father suddenly wants to kill you, and the only choice you could make is to KILL him. Wouldn't you feel depersonalized? Of course you'd do, but this would be such a short and shocking scene you wouldn't even realize.
DP/DR is the SAME, it is just a longer period than a few seconds. But doesn't matter if it is a few seconds or 30 years. The mechanism is the SAME.
So how to heal? You have to understand, that you CAN NOT SOLVE depersonalization by simple choice. You can only heal DP by using your choosing self NOT TO DO ANYTHING IN THE CURRENT LIFE SITUATION, NOT TO do this, NOT TO do that, but to FIND the core belief(s) that is causing you the problem.
I repeat. There is NOTHING you can do to fix DP until you don't fix the CORE belief that creates it.
And ONLY YOU, ONLY YOU can know those beliefs.